Apparently, pope Benedict XVI signals the End Of Days. It seems that some 12th century Irish priest, Malachay, had a knack for seeing the future (funny how no one has had that ‘knack’ the past 300-400 years), and he predicted that 112 popes would reign before Judgement Day (no, no T2’s in this story).

He went further by giving each of these popes a nickname, and a short analysis. Naturally, fanatics have had immense pleasure in connecting the abstract dots of prophecy, and covering it with a twisted truth. Apparently, Malachay announced that pope #110 would be the “Labor Of The Sun”.

On the day JPII was born, a full eclipse was observed over Europe. On the day he died? A partial eclipse over the Americas! THE LABOR OF THE SUN! Get it? Also, the Sun. That symbolizes youth. Right? Maybe. Well, JPII was the youngest pope in a century! You see? You see?

OMG! That’s unbelievable. John Paul II was born in Krakow, Poland. You see it? You don’t? Well, Copernicus, right! Now you get it. No? Well, Copernicus lived in Krakow when he toiled to prove that the Earth rotated around the Sun. Makes perfect sense. THE LABOR OF THE SUN!

Man. Too bad Copernicus was a heretic who was actually persecuted by the Church… BURN!

Anyway, on to pope Benedict XVI. Malachay (who must have had one pint too many, in my humble opinion), predicted that pope #111 would be the “Glory of the Olives” and that he would be a champion of peace.

Glory of the Olives? Well, Benedict was seen holding an olive branch once. And on Easter!!! That’ll hold in the holy court with JC presiding.

Also, he chose the name Benedict. You know who St. Benedict was? It doesn’t really matter, but apparently his gang were called the Olivetans. Hard evidence. Furthermore, the new pope announced that he wanted to work towards world peace. You see?

Of course, this is as opposed to the previous popes who promoted war. I wish for the rapture to come soon, actually, if only it would just take THOSE GUYS, and leave the rest of us here.

Posted on Saturday, April 30th, 2005 at 12:40 pm and filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.